Watching and Waiting

I have never been good at being patient.

This saying is going around Pinterest and the internet in general. I don't know the validity of it, but it gets me thinking every time.

The last line is where my focus needs to be. I've had my gym membership for less than a month. My starting weight was measured on June 7, and it's now just June 24. I still struggle with anxiety of just getting everyone ready and out the door to get to the gym, but it is getting better. The girls love the child care, and I have yet to regret a visit. I also have (for the most part) cut out all wheat and have absolutely increased the amount of vegetables I eat. However, I told myself it was okay to majorly cheat on my daughter's 4th birthday party, where I had a piece of cheese pizza blotted with a paper towel, a chocolate chocolate chip cupcake, and some Dr. Pepper.

I paid for that dearly. My body, after days without wheat, colas, junk, etc. got so angry with me. NOT worth it. I had another chance to cheat at a birthday party this Sunday, but that previous experience was enough to squelch any temptation I had. It didn't hurt that it smelled like monkey butt up in that Monkey Joe's bouncy place, either.

That's one change I've seen so far in myself. It's taken me less than that 4-week mark in the saying to now internally realize that cheats, if they are going to happen, need to be carefully considered. CAREFULLY considered.  Another place where I feel is slowly shrinking is right near my rib cage and in my waist. I just feel thinner and stronger there. I'm impatient to wait for the overall change though. It will not happen overnight.

It's hard not to get obsessed with hopping on the scale every day. Logic tells me that it's totally futile to weigh myself every day, since I know weight wildly fluctuates even within one day. It's hard not to get hung up on numbers though. It's hard to have two measuring tapes I keep around for sewing easily accessible. I don't want to get numberized in that way.

My focus needs to shift if I'm going to keep up the journey. I need to figure out some measurable goals and make a plan for how to get to those goals. Choosing goals that don't involve inches or pounds are most likely the best ones for me, at least for now. I was revisiting my first post on this blog, and I need something more specific than "not wear the same bathing suit at the beach I've worn for the last few vacations." That particular annual beach vacation is at the end of July and early August-a reasonable amount of time to reach that goal. I just want to feel stronger and more confident in the new suit. I can't get hung up on a particular size because the fashion industry 1. sucks, and 2. never has worked out for my body type since I have to fit the bazoombas into something that is often not the same size as the rest of my body.

This week's goal is to, well, set a measurable goal. I'm going to talk to a few people about a Crossfit style workout plan, since that seems REALLY appealing to me at the moment and seems to have definite measurable goals where I'm only in competition with myself.

I'd love to hear in the comments what was the first goal you reached and how it made you feel!

They Are Losing It: Lauren Goeringer

I met Lauren through a mutual love of the band Umphrey's McGee. She recently got married, so say congratulations to Lauren as you read her story!

 

I was an athlete most of my life, volleyball, softball, and basketball (that one didn’t go so well)!  I never had a weight problem during that time, but then I turned down a volleyball scholarship and went to college….dun, dun, dunnnnn.  You know the drill, started eating what I wanted, wasn’t playing sports anymore, and my extracurricular activities took a turn for the worst.

In 2009, a relationship I was in ended and during that whole self-discovery stage that follows that, I looked in the mirror and HATED what I saw.  I was wearing a size 14 and I was humiliated.  There was not a time that I ever felt good about my body and I tried to cover up with sweatshirts and baggy clothes whenever possible. 

Before pic! I met Page McConnell (keyboardist for Phish) and was embarrassed to show anyone the proof!  And no pics exist of this time with anything below the waist because I always cropped them.

I was single again, so cooking for one…I had nobody to complain about the new low-fat options, except for myself!  I started going to the gym at school and some workout videos at home….I’m a huge sucker for Jillian Michaels, that relationship started then.

I got an app called “My Fitness Pal.”  It allows you to track not only your calories, but also your workouts and the calories burned there.  That really helped me, once you REALLY see what you’re eating, it makes you feel like a hog.  At least that’s what it did for me.  Plus, there is a forum with other people doing the same thing, so it’s a nice sounding board and place to go for advice.  It held me accountable…I found myself not wanting to let myself down, but mostly not wanting to have to put a cheeseburger on there and having people know that I didn’t eat healthy that day. 

I also got a Polar heart-rate monitor that straps around my chest and transmits to a wristwatch.  That has helped tremendously because now I know exactly how many calories I burn during each workout. I LOVE JUICING!  I got a juicer a few months ago and am hooked!  It definitely took me a while to find yummy combinations, but it is a fabulous way to get a massive amount of fruits and veggies in. 

I am also a Jillian Michaels junkie, and anything made by Beachbody, (Turbofire, Insanity, etc)…If I have a mapped out schedule that tells me what to do every day, I’m really good at sticking to it, more so than if I go to the gym and try to do it on my own.  They all do such a good job of combining strength and cardio.  I did insanity leading up to my wedding and loved it!

I’m not a runner.  I want to be, I even like it, but the impact is too much for my knees.  I’ve ended up with an injury every time I’ve decided to start running.  Learning what works for you is important.  A spin class is my favorite big cardio burn, and I usually burn over 1000 calories. 

I have to work out first thing in the morning.  I work long hours and get home around 8pm, and I don’t have it in me then.  But if I roll out of bed and put on workout clothes and go push play, I’m ALWAYS happy I did.  If feels so good to start your day off that way. 

30 pounds lighter!

I am down to a size 8 again.  It feels SO good! I don’t feel like I’m hiding all the time or trying to fade into the background, I’m happy and more confident. It helps me a lot also to have such a supportive and motivational husband.  He keeps me going and helps me stay focused on my goals.  I still want 20 more pounds, that would be my “healthy weight”….I’ll get there!

Would you like to be featured on my They Are Losing It series? Email me at lupehughes@gmail.com for more information!

They Are Losing It: Kat Bukowy

I met Kat Bukowy at a 6-week summer program called the North Carolina Governor's School, a magical, fabulous experience that truly changed the way I viewed academia and the world around me. We also happen to go to the same gym. Kat offers raw honesty, practical tips, and thoughtful encouragement. I teared up reading it! Without further ado, I'd love to share Kat's story with you.

Kat in mid-April 2013

So the honest truth is…I cheated.  Ok, not really, but kind of – it’s as confusing as it sounds. 

I started working on “getting healthy” two years ago.  When I was young my mother did Weight Watchers (still does I believe); so Daddy and I did WW.  For a whole lot of years, I did not realize that corn and peas and potatoes are vegetables.  To me they were starches and you shouldn’t eat two in a meal.  “Family style” is a recent fad in my world.  We always ate our meals pre-portioned at the stove.  I have been well-indoctrinated into the teachings of WW.  I’m not saying it’s a bad program; it works well for many people.  I even did it once in my twenties and lost about 20 lbs (I also gained it all back).

Despite all of Mom’s efforts, I have weight and body image issues.  I finally had enough when I hit around 230 lbs.  It was time to get serious and find a “healthy lifestyle” that I could actually maintain.  Essentially, 230 lbs + genes that tend toward heart disease, high blood pressure and diabetes + own personal issues (depression, asthma, and premature arthritis) = impending DISASTER! 

Kat (right) with our friend Lacey (left) near the 230's around her 30th birthday
(stay tuned for Lacey's story)

I found a gym and joined with a friend to help hold each other accountable.  I probably lost about 20 lbs.  I was honestly not paying a whole lot of attention to the weight loss between 230ish and 203 lbs.  I just know it went away.  At 203 lbs I was frustrated that I was still not really losing weight (apparently the whole 27 lbs or so loss kind of got missed in my brain to the point that I don’t even acknowledge it now).  A friend suggested I try using a free online program (I use My Fitness Pal) to actually track what I eat, that perhaps I was eating more than I thought I was. 

On top of that I had discovered triathlons, something I had always wanted to do, but thought I couldn’t.  The reason I thought I couldn’t?  I did not believe I was physically capable of running.  I discovered that doing a run/walk is a legitimate thing, not something just for fat people like myself, and that I could do a triathlon with a run/walk for the “run” part of the event.  I started training for and doing sprint triathlons.  If the high I get from triathlon is the high that crack addicts get, I understand why they go back for more.  However, the scale only dropped a little for all of the effort I was putting in.

And this is where I cheated.  Sort of.  When you train for a triathlon and you’re swimming, riding or running twice a week and the “long” ride is 30 miles, you expect after awhile to see a DROP in weight, especially if you’re eating within the calorie range that you are now diligently tracking.  

Kat's first team triathlon

 To make a very long story much, much shorter, I saw an endocrinologist throughout the whole train for triathlons, count calories process.  She trusted the lab results and the average limits for those results.  It turns out that I am sub-clinical, which means that my results fall within range, but are actually too low for me.  When she told me that my thyroid was not my problem, I got another opinion (Ok, she told me my problem was not something she could deal with because my lab results were fine; so I fired her and got another opinion).  I happened to find an endocrinologist whose philosophy happens to be "treat for the simplest solution first."  The odds that I had some remote form of cancer are pretty slim, so he decided to dramatically increase the synthetic thyroid hormone that I was on.  No surprise to me, it did the trick.  The moral of “the cheating” is that if something doesn’t feel or seem right – my hair was falling out, I was tired all the time, I had weird hot/cold flashes and I’m 32 – get an answer.  Get one that makes sense and don’t stop asking the question(s) until you do. 

So from May 2012 to May 2013, I lost 35 lbs.  How much of that was me working and how much was “cheating” I don’t know.  I can say that I don’t think I’d have lost that much weight that fast if I had not been working so hard.  I love having lost 35 lbs.  I am 15 lbs away from my goal of 50 lbs down.  Even with the 35 lb loss, my brain sees the physical changes and accepts the complements with pleasure, but something in me still sees a fat person.  I am deathly afraid that the fat person will come back one day.  I’m not going to let it, and I won’t let the fear drive what I do.  I keep pushing my “limits” because I know I can be stronger, faster, harder, better and happiest because I did it.

I think my biggest problem, like a lot of people, is diligently recording what I eat.  Fortunately, I am a creature of habit and like my routines.  I eat the same thing (nearly) for breakfast every day: oatmeal (Quaker Rolled Oats), vanilla protein powder, flax seed, and cinnamon with either fruit (blueberries, peaches) or apple/peach butter or jam thrown in for interest.  Lunch is typically a Lean Cuisine or similar at the office.  Days I’m in the field are nearly a free-for-all, although I try to eat a chicken sandwich or I bring peanut butter and jam/honey sandwiches and carrots or something "healthy."  When I’m in the field, I can burn up to about 700-900 calories depending on the weather and type of work.  I almost always carry apples and Lance peanut butter & honey crackers with me.  A hungry Kat is NOT a happy Kat.  Because I’m at the gym until 7 p.m. and my boyfriend is usually home before me, I try to make something on the weekend to have as leftovers during the week.  I need to get better at the food planning thing. I keep trying, but haven’t gotten the hang of it yet.  I also have a mid-morning and an afternoon snack that is usually protein-based.

I have had recent digestive issues so I have discovered that I need to avoid most dairy, beans, and corn.  I am also severely allergic to cashews and pistachios.  These are the only real “limits” on my diet.  I LOVE to bake and do so frequently.  I put the recipes into the online recipe calorie calculator so I can know what the calorie content of a serving is.

Some advice…

Exercise is key.  If you’re not doing anything, I wouldn’t expect you to go do a marathon.  I started with walking and going to the gym; it worked for me.  Whatever you do, do it with your best effort and start today. Then go back tomorrow. 

It took a variety of gyms (from the super-cheap, to the posh, and the exclusive with a personal trainer) for me to find my Y.  Don’t be afraid to shop around.  It’s really about what works best for you.  The Y is on my path home.  I figured out that it takes the same amount of time for me to go to a 5:30 class at the Y and get home as it does to go directly home fighting 5 o’clock traffic.  It also happens that all varieties and types of people are welcome at the Y.  I don’t get on the cardio machines and see tight bodies that I want to beat to a bloody pulp everywhere – there’s one or two, but I can usually ignore them. 

If you’re exercising be as comfortable as you can.  For some ungodly reason, everyone is telling us to be (or get) fit and healthy, but the stupid clothing industry is NOT helping the large trying to become small(er).  The best investment you’ll ever make is in a solid pair of athletic shoes.  Go to a local running shop – if whoever comes to help you isn’t helpful and friendly get someone else – and be properly fitted for shoes.  Yes, they are expensive, but your budget will thank me when you’re not spending money on doctor’s bills or you’ve quit because your feet/legs/hips/back are killing you.  If you’re female, the second best investment is a GOOD sports bra.  I’m partial to the Moving Comfort brand discovery I made last year (I started out as a 40 DDD and they make a very supportive larger bra), but I had Luminere and Champion (when I wasn’t so well-endowed) before that.  Be warned that you should try them on first if possible.  Sports bras do NOT fit like regular bras.  I wore a 40 DD sports bra, but my regular bras were DDD.  Try them on, jump/bounce up and down, run in place, whatever.  Make sure nothing pokes or pinches.  If you fear chafing get an anti-chafe stick.  I think I got an Arm & Hammer at Walmart, but I also use Body Glide.  I sweat like a cold glass on a hot day, so for me, moisture-wicking material is the best invention ever. Just remember, getting your exercise on is not about what you look like while you sweat; the reward comes in the afterglow of what you’ve accomplished.

Because I run and ride outside I don’t listen to music very often, and I recommend that for safety reasons you learn to live without the tunes (or at least not via headphones/earbuds that cut out all other surrounding sound).  I like to think that my theme song is "Stronger" by Kelly Clarkson.  I know it’s cheesy, but I first heard it about the same time I started down this path and it’s gotten me through some rough times.  The quote that I mostly live by is “The voice inside your head that says you can’t do this IS A LIAR.”  I think I saw that on a Nike advert circulated on Facebook at the beginning of this trip last year.

P.S.  I can now run a full 4 miles without stopping.  It’s not fast, but it’s still running.

 

Green Machine

Spinach, kale, banana, pineapple, and unsweetened coconut almond chia drink.

It definitely has, um, texture, but it's pretty tasty.  

They Are Losing It: Amber Meyer

Welcome to the first installment in my "They are Losing It" series! This series features answers to interview questions regarding personal history and struggle with weight loss, the breaking point, starting out making changes, finding time and motivation, tips, changes, and anything else readers should hear.

I "met" Amber Meyer on a facebook group for moms who wanted to get fit after having March 2011 babies. The group's been a wonderful source of encouragement, education, and solidarity as we celebrate accomplishments and understand common struggles. Without further ado, I'd love to share Amber's story with you: 

I have had issues with my weight since I was in elementary school, to be honest.  I have always had very low self esteem.  When I graduated high-school I was about 170, when I got married at 20 I was 180, and it has only gone up from there.  

Since getting married in ’07, I have tried many ways to lose weight.  I’ve only tried healthy ways, through diet and exercise, but in 5.5 years of marriage, we have had three children via cesarean, 9 military moves in two countries and three states and eleven 30-90 day military separations for training and brief deployments.   Not making excuses, but it does take an emotional toll.  In December of 2011, I began to get completely fed up.  I had a 2 year-old, 10 month old, had just gone through a miscarriage and just found out I was about 6 weeks pregnant again...I couldn’t play with my kids the way I wanted and couldn’t go out with my husband feeling confident in myself or in the fact that he could possibly be attracted to me or love me, yet alone be proud to be out with me even though he has never given me a reason to doubt it.  

That December, I decided that I was going to try to lose the weight regardless of my pregnancy. Even though I was high risk, I did doctor-approved light exercise and ate clean.  From the day I found out I was pregnant until 3 days postpartum, I had lost 42lbs! During Fall of 2012, I dropped an additional 24lbs.  For Christmas of 2012, we went home to visit my family and in 2.5wks, I gained 18lbs!  My family has terrible habits and I have a terrible time resisting between all the visits and parties.  I spent the first 4 months of 2013 getting that back off to gain 24lbs in the month of May when staying with family during a move and then again for a funeral.  That brings me here.  My 22 year-old college grad sister just moved in with me and we start our first day at the gym together today.  

When I started my first few weeks, I was very determined.  I wanted to be able to tell people I had done it even with all the excuses I could’ve used at the time… like a high risk pregnancy… haha. A facebook fit-moms group that I am part of with you, Lucy, has been a huge inspiration.  Although all of the women on the page are greatly inspiring, amongst that group, I’d say you, Puanani and Rebekah are at the core of my inspiration just because I connect to you all the most on a personal level.   Advice?  BABY STEPS!  No matter how small the change, it is better than nothing and you have to start somewhere.  I see this on pinterest a lot and it couldn’t be more true: “strive for progress, not perfection.”

Please, if you struggle with weight or other self esteem issues, do not let that become who you are.  You are a person; aside from the things that are “wrong” with you, there are a million things right.

I sit down and meal plan once every two weeks.  Depending on the month and our commitments, I will make food ahead of time.  If it is going to be a busy month, I will take the last weekend of the month prior to make enough freezer meals that I can put one in the crock pot every day so we have lunch and dinner without thinking. If the week is going to be super busy, I will even make homemade waffles, burritos and breakfast cookies to freeze.  Most busy mornings, though, we resort to oatmeal with fruit… quick, easy and delicious. We sweeten it with either honey or banana.  If it's not a busy month, I will just make meals as I go, and when I have a busy week, I’ll make meals the prior Sunday.  We’ve even begun to keep a small cooler in the van to pack a meal/snack and avoid eating out.  My son says we’re having a picnic! I actually prefer real clean healthy foods, and it's normally only time constraints that I’ve not planned ahead for or travel that get me.  I’d say raw vegan desserts and banana ice-cream are two favorite tricks.  They are delicious and allow me to indulge a little without falling off the wagon. 

I love working out, period… anything really.  It's just a matter of making the time. Just like anything I love, I never make time for me.   As far as working out, the gym works best for me because of childcare.  The YMCA has excellent rates, but right now, we are using our community on-post gym because it has a play room and is all free.  I try to go in the mornings because if I do, it sets my mood for the day.  It's not too hard for me because I am a stay at home mom… at least once I get into the habit.

3 months pre-baby (left) VS.
5 weeks post-partum (right)

happy to say goodbye to:

50lbs
9% body fat
4.25in off of my shoulders
1.5in off my chest
2.5in off my thigh
3in off my waist
4.5in off my stomach
1.5in off my hips

...never thought i'd see the day... especially since there was a pregnancy in the mix.

I’ve struggled to notice the changes with my weight loss.  I know this sounds strange but I always notice my hands and feet… haha. I won’t say I am happy with my appearance yet, because I am not… but, I am finally at a place where I am only concerned with how I feel about myself.  I truly never worry what anyone else thinks about it.  The only people that matter to me (opinion wise) are my husband and children.

I think clean eating will work for anyone.  Clean eating is the very best way to start at least.  Just get rid of your sugar, processed foods, eating out etc. and go clean.  I feel it works best for most people to start off with this because it doesn’t ban certain food groups which, for people who are used to eating anything, can result in binge eating.  As you go along and become more aware of your body and its reactions, you can ban/limit things if needed.  For example, I’ve been eliminating gluten, dairy and soy because they are not my friend.  As I go, I may eliminate more.  I have tried Vegan and Paleo… I’d say I felt best vegan but I have had a hard time sticking with it as my husband enjoys meat and poultry, and let's just say gluten and soy free vegans can get pretty bored.  I will say, I was shocked that eating clean has not increased the amount of money we spend on food monthly, but decreased it.  Yes, good meats and produce etc. are expensive, but the increase on your grocery bill falls in line with the decrease in boxed groceries and eating out. 

Please, if you struggle with weight or other self esteem issues, do not let that become who you are.  You are a person; aside from the things that are “wrong” with you, there are a million things right.  I bet those around you could easily name ten things they love about you… or even envy about you.  For most of my life, I have let what is “wrong” with me overpower all the things that are right.  My husband, friends and family have consistently pointed out things I am talented with, things they wished they could do that I can, but the image I had of myself was keeping me from being able to pursue anything I was good at.  I love to draw, to paint, to sew… just create… but I question everything I do like just because I have extra weight voids out all talent, potential, personality and value I have.  It’s not true.  Everyone is worth so much more than that.  I hate that I am just now seeing it.

****
 
Want to be featured on the "They Are Losing It" series? Send an email to lupehughes@gmail.com. I'd love to hear from you. 


 

Welcome to Juicy Lucy's Juice and Smoothie Shop

I've never made a green smoothie before with vegetables. I'm not feeling so hot today, so I figured I'd focus on meal planning and trying out new things on the Calories In aspect of weight loss. Out came the food processor! If you are looking for exact measurements or nutritional value information, you're going to have to look elsewhere. Confession: I did try to mess with the color values just a bit so the smoothie would look more green instead of the brownish-sandy-faded green color in reality. Yum? Indeed.

Lucy is Losing It Green Smoothie Recipe

Materials and Ingredients: 
Food processor
Handfuls of fresh spinach
one banana that is destined to become banana bread soon if it gets more spots
blueberries with stems pulled off
raspberries that have not molded yet (oops!)
a splash of milk
cups

Directions: Dump stuff, put on lid, push the button, and pour.

Inevitably, the littles will want to try. I was informed it is "Find All Swim Suits and Try Them On Day." I will be attempting to turn it into "Retrieve Swim Suits and Put them Back Where They Belong Day."

I think we have a winner. She ate her sister's leftovers, too. I thought the smoothie was absolutely delicious, and I will definitely be scouring Pinterest for more recipes. If I can shove in who knows what veggies, I can certainly get down with this weight loss business if I could drink these daily.

Last month, I watched Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead on Netflix. It's about a man who drinks nothing but juiced fruits and veggies for 60 days. The results were amazing! Other people in the documentary also had inspirational results. I am hoping by incorporating these smoothies into my diet that my mental health will directly benefit. If I feed my brain with vitamins and minerals, maybe I'll diminish the Rage that comes from nowhere. Nutrients that Enhance Mental Health and Wellness is an article I found with a great list of what does what. (As with anything on the intertronz, do your own research about author credibility, etc.)

Please post links or recipes involving your favorite smoothies! I'd love to try them. I'd also love to hear about how drinking these green smoothies helped with mental health.

Procrastination, Excuses, Poop, and X-rays

I could have majored in Procrastination, but I had other things to do. Monday mornings are really hard (no cliches here). One might think getting up and getting out of this house would be great for Monday, but I don't quite operate like that. I need to piddle around on Monday. Instead of working out in the morning, I might try something for Mondays-aim for the slumpy afternoon for me and the chaos that happens after naps but before dinner for the kids. If I can stick them in the Tree House and let them play, therefore avoiding the WHINING at home despite my best efforts to be the crafty, involved mom, I can power through the slump with one of a trillion interesting classes at the Y. Then maybe I won't be so angry that I have to feed all You People at dinnertime. You mean you have to eat again?! And I have to cook it?!

Slow (ha) Interval Training started one minute ago. I did not anticipate having to plunge a toilet this morning (thanks, toddler)! At least my excuses involve poop. That's always acceptable.

Now that I've discussed poop, it's time to talk about my insides and boobs, naturally. I got a spinal x-ray at my chiropractor's last week. Picture time! Let's talk about how my boobs have wreaked havoc on my spine/neck.


Exhibit A: Full frontal and side shot
This is about as close as I'm going to reveal about The Boobage pictures. Check out how far down they droop-almost to the top of my pelvis. I knew they were out of control, but I had no idea they were all the way down that far. WHAT. My neck's curvature is also jacked up due to the breast tissue pulling it down. But look at that nose! That is just wild to see my bones and such!









Exhibit B: T8-T10 Arthritis
The pencil marks on my T8, T9, and T10 vertebrae show arthritis due to excessive breast tissue. This bit right here is what shocked me the most. I knew they were huge, but I had NO idea The Boobage was causing actual spinal physical damage. I mean, dizzamn. Time to get these sweater puppets whacked off.










If I don't get this fixed, I could cause accidents and scare the General Public. Maybe that will be the bra I get discounted with my filled up punch card at the Bra Whisperer I visit to buy my specialty bras. This is a special one, all right.

And then I'd have to steal my grandma's walker, trick it out to lift it up to chest level, and rest those pancakes on them to wheel around The Boobage. I'm sure it would pay for itself if I ditch the bras completely:

That concludes my picture posting. No one wants to see visuals of the plunger shenanigans. In future posts, I plan to wear the jeans and the dress that are my goal items to serve as Before Pictures to one day look back and laugh at how it looks like I tried to stuff the biscuit dough back in the container after you pop the cylinder with the back of a spoon.

My first week at the YMCA

I joined the Y for my 33rd birthday. I literally marched right in with my checkbook a-wavin' and my pen in hand ready to sign things. This Y is a few miles from my house with plenty of parking, three stories tall with a pool, child care, three studios with all sorts of fitness classes 7 days a week, raquetball courts, a gym, a track, free weight area, machines, saunas, steam room, private workout area in the locker room, nice showers, towel service, a chapel, a natural light-filled atrium with cafe tables and booths, and a cafe that overlooks the pool! Whaaaaaat! Yes, please!

Another feature that I am easily bowled over by is the free app that tells all the schedules of the classes, information about the instructors and the classes they teach, and descriptions of the classes. You can even schedule it on your calendar and set reminders so you can't say you forgot to go to Ass Kickin' at 11am.

The Monday after I joined, I picked out a class called Slow Interval Training. The class description said it was a full body workout for those who prefer to work at a slower pace with low impact aerobics and resistance training. Perfect, I thought. I even got a tad bit smug when I saw I was one of the youngest people in there.

I got my ass handed to me. Those older ladies were running circles around me, and guess who felt sheepish? Talk about inspirational, though. They were all very friendly.

Tuesday I was going to go to Yoga, but blahblahblah I didn't make it.

Wednesday was Zumba day. I watched a few videos on YouTube to make sure I knew what I was getting into. Lots of people packed themselves into the studio, so I chose a spot in front of the mirror and right up front so I could see the instructor. I quickly introduced myself to the instructor and her assistant to tell them I was new here! I was near an elderly lady dressed in hot neon green zebra print leggings. I was all like, I wanna be YOU, girlfriend! I'll just do what she does. I hung in there and was so proud that I finished the entire workout! I did grapevine the wrong way, spun around when no one else did a few beats shy of the spin, but I didn't care! I had so much fun! I sweat like, well, insert metaphor here! When I was done with the session, Green Neon Zebra Granny gave me a sweaty high five. BEST EVER. I then walked around the track for fifteen minutes so I could stop being beet red and sweaty for my shower.

Speaking of the shower-my kids were happily coloring away in the Tree House child care area, so I left myself 40 minutes to go as slow as I wanted to. I'll tell you what-that membership fee is WORTH showering by myself!

While I didn't go to the Y the rest of the week due to other appointments and wonky scheduling, our family did go on a little 1.4 mile round trip to a toddler park in our neighborhood. I officially got in my 30 min. 3x a week in my first Lucy is Losing It journey! YEAH!

My ideal plan for this next week is:

• Monday-Slow (hahaha!) Interval Aerobics
• Tuesday-Gentle Yoga
• Wednesday-Water Aerobics since I have something I need to go to during Zumba. There's also a Zumba at 5:15, so I could do that as well.
• Thursday-Gentle Yoga
• Friday-Pre-Weekend Indoor Cycle (class description says it's great for those who have wanted to try cycling)

 We'll see how this pans out. All these classes are for the morning, but there are classes aaaaallll day long in case I miss a morning class.

So that's Week One!

Why I am Losing It

Why lose it? I am tired of being fat. I am the heaviest I've ever been without having another human growing inside of me. Two kids in two years did a total number on my body. With my oldest about to turn 4, there is no excuse that it's the baby weight-nope, I am just fat! The unhealthy body feeds the unhealthy mind. I suffered from severe Postpartum Depression/Anxiety and still have some mental health issues. I have the power to exercise to keep my mind healthy (and my pills sure don't hurt either)!  I just turned 33 and have finally realized that the only one with the power to change what I don't like about myself is me. Now, there are plenty of things I do like about myself, but I feel like I owe it to myself and my family to be a healthier, stronger person, both physically and mentally.

Things to aim for:

• Fit into my size 10 Gap jeans that I wore when I was my lowest weight after having kids (at 178 lbs. spring of 2010).  I am about a 14-16 depending on the brand (more toward 16 these days)
• Stick with a dang goal already. I am always dreaming up grand schemes, only to abandon them 2 weeks later. I really want a lifestyle change, and putting it in writing makes it more real for me. 
• Demonstrate steady weight loss over three months for insurance to cover a breast reduction. I hope to have the surgery around Christmas 2013. I've got all the other criteria they ask for required for them to pay for the surgery. I want my cup size to at least fit back on a report card, even if it's a failing grade! Ha! BOOBS, be gone!
• Be able to shop in the regular ladies' section or a regular bra store instead of having to go to a specialty bra shop or the women's plus section of a store.
• Run a few 5Ks. RUN, not stopping to walk.
• Trips coming up: The beach beginning of August, the lake beginning of September, and VEGAS toward the end of September. I do not want to wear the same swimsuit for the first 2 trips, and I really want at least one new, cute outfit for Vegas that is not already in my closet. 
• Most important reason of all-I want to be healthy for my family. My extended family has a history of obesity with various incurable diseases. I hope endorphins will help reduce irritability and show my girls that being strong and fit is a wonderful thing. There is no reason for my family to suffer due to something preventable like taking care of myself if I am to develop complications from being overweight. I also want to be body positive for my girls as they grow up in this body-obsessed world.